His eyes ooh his eyes, crystal clear. His lips so full, his teeth, perfect dental formula, his beard well kept, his arms so strong, his abs well defined, his legs so muscular. He made me feel safe, he made me feel protected. When it came to him, I was so vulnerable. He knew my strengths, my weaknesses; he knew every inch of me. He was the death of me.

Sam and I met in campus. Everyone knew we were an item. We were viewed as relationship goals. I loved him, probably more than he loved me. I always kept his needs before mine. Mama always told me, “Respect your man, treat him right, care for his needs first, feed him right and never deny him sexual pleasures. He will never leave.” I always tried to follow my mother’s advice to the letter. Now that I come to think about it, my mom was never in a happy marriage. At least that is what my siblings and I saw when we were younger but I still followed her advice. Being raised in a traditional family, listening to what our parents said was key.

The two years of our relationship was great. We moved in together and did practically everything together. We called it ‘the honeymoon’ period. This is the period where everything is awesome in a relationship. You get to know each other, fights are minimal and a lot of pretense. Third year into our relationship and being seniors in campus things changed.

Sam stopped eating at home, he would spend some nights out, he stopped touching me, and all he brought home was negative vibes. One time I decided to confront him about the situation concerning our relationship. I saw anger in him, he started breathing so hard. He then started arguing and talking in loud tones. “Why are you asking me such questions? I’m I your child? Don’t I have the right to do anything I want in this house? Between the two of us, who is the man?’ he asked screaming at the top of his voice I’m sure the neighbors heard everything.

I was taken aback. My Sam, today he screams at me like he doesn’t know me. He’s in full rage and I am scared. Before I know it, I land on the floor, feeling so much pain on the left side of my face. That was the first time Sam slapped me. He walked out the door and never came back that night. I tried calling him to apologize because I believed I was wrong. I made him angry. I was afraid that he will leave me for someone else. I sent him several texts telling him how sorry I am but I never got a reply back.

Where could he be? What is he doing? Will he leave me? I don’t know….

 

TO BE CONTINUED...